I'm a teacher, and while I wouldn't say that I have the summers off from teaching, I do have a lot more free time to dedicate to the farm and to my house. Well, I also look forward to spending more time with my husband, but summer is his busy season. Last week, I was getting stressed out that we weren't spending much quality time together. Sure, you are sitting there thinking, they are both home all day, how are they not together? Well, Luke may come in for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but then its back to the fields, the greenhouse, the wash shack. It was a crazy week, and he was working every night until after 10. Meanwhile, I was helping him out, while working around the house and making dinner, and like a true woman would, I began to feel... under-appreciated.
What made me feel this way? Well, you see...I must take you back...back to Tuesday. Ooohhh, the wretched Tuesday of last week. I was going to help Luke out by doing the CSA deliveries. Well, we have 24 customers, and the only way to get all the bags to fit is to take his car...a stick-shift. Now, I do okay with his car, but deliveries means a lot of stop and go, a lot of reverse, and a lot of first gear (my worst gear, by a mile). I started off strong! I was so proud. Then, I even crossed the highway - something I have feared since I started to drive the car (my imagination said I would stall in the middle, and then...you can figure the rest out). I was feeling great.
Until I hit the hill. One of our customers has a bendy twisty driveway that you have to reverse out of, because there is no way to turn around. As you reverse out of the driveway, you enter the road...a RIDICULOUSLY STEEP hill! It was my fear, seriously. Well, I said to myself, "I've been nailing this all day - I can handle this hill." I put the car in first, and I began to go forward. No snubbing, just solid movement. I was so proud, I made a lil cheer! Then, over-ambitiously, I put it into second. But it was tooo soon!!!! The car snubbed, and began rolling down, down, down. I put the brakes on, I started the car, I took my foot off the brake, started to roll backward, so then I panicked, and...car snubbed. Try again, try again! Snub again, snub again. I said a few really nasty expletives, put the car in neutral, and let the stupid thing roll all the way to the bottom of the hill. Pathetic, but I was on flat ground and could take off no problem. The deliveries were almost done, but I was pissed! I was so angry I couldn't concentrate, and that poor little car - grinding gears, snubbing in every driveway. By the time I got back to our house, I was FREAKING out. Luke, not knowing the hell I had been through, just said, "Great, your home, what's for dinner?" Needless to say, I stormed into the house, and here ends step one towards my under-appreciated feeling.
Step 2: The Farmer's Market. Luke needed to leave the Farmer's Market early to pick up more chicken feed, so I said I would pack up and bring everything back. I gave him my car key's and he headed out. An hour later, market ended, I loaded the truck, and I was ready to go. Turn the ignition...NO KEY! I had given him my keys but he forgot to give me his. I was trapped, in the middle of the road, with no where to go. I couldn't leave the truck, because I couldn't close the windows so everything was vulnerable to be taken. I just had to sit there and hope that they didn't open the street up. I just kept imagining myself, sitting on a dark street, with flashers on, either being mugged or rear-ended. (The more you read this blog, the more you will realize my imagination is insane!!!!!!) Luke was still getting chicken-feed and couldn't be back for an hour. But, father-in-law to the rescue, Dave brought me a new key in 45 minutes and I was on my way. Luke did feel awful, he apologized like 100 times. But, when I got home, it's not like we could sit down and just relax and de-stress, he needed to unload the vehicle and finish up outside. I just wanted some time together, which led me to feel more under-appreciated.
Well, by Friday the week had been so busy and we had spent less than an hour in the same room (besides sleeping), that I got in a little tizzy. I told Luke that just because his work was at home, didn't mean he could work all the time. I said he needed to "Separate work from home." My wise husband just let me be for a little - that cooling off factor is a good thing. When we got home from our friends that night (that unexpected visit I told you about earlier), Luke said to me, "Mel, farming isn't work, it's a lifestyle. Just because we had fun with Sam doesn't mean that right now (At midnight) I don't have to go close the chicken coop, close-up the greenhouse and check on sprouts. I don't want to work, but this isn't just work, it is a lifestyle."
This may not be revolutionary for you, it may not even be applicable, but it was a big deal for me to figure out. It put things in perspective. Farming isn't a job that you leave at 5:00 on Friday and pick-up on Monday morning. It is non-stop, every day. If you leave the potato bugs until Monday, you can kiss your potato crop goodbye. So, farming isn't work, but a lifestyle. And it is a truly wonderful lifestyle, especially if you like to be kept on your toes.
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